Deception and protection

There are some things that I love to share when I write and some things that I just keep here for those that care to view when they are not reminded that this little blog exists. This moring is one of those mornings that I choose to simply tuck away my thoughts of the morning. I woke up this morning to the same fat little black cat with the really pink nose that sits on my night stand and grunts until I wake up and fill his food bowl. The sequence of events is always the same. I try to plead with him that we need another hour of sleep and he just sits there and grunts like a baby pig staring at me with those big green eyes that I finally give in to as I make my way out of bed.

Despite how irritated I am with him; I always have to pet his head as he purrs and strokes each side of my legs in the excitement of me going with him to the kitchen. I make my coffee and then I follow him and watch as he starts eating before I even finish filling his bowl. I shake my head at how greedy he is and make my way for that first cup of yummy java. He's usually passed out on the rug for his first nap before I even get settled for the first few minutes of the news. I have to sigh and think what a stinker he is when I look at the clock and am reminded that he has managed once again to start my Saturday morning at 6 am.

The first thing on the news as I sipped my much needed java started my day with a bit of a victory. I sighed as I heard them say it for the second time. "Sandusky GUILTY on 45 counts"! What an awesome reason to start Saturday morning early I had to say outloud to my sleepy cat.

I had been watching this high society predator prance his way into the courtroom every morning as I woke up to get my morning fill of the news. It amazed me how cocky he and his wife were as they walked into the courtroom to face the victims that he seemed to think he had the right to wreck the lives of time and time again. I'd heard the stories of the locker room where he'd been caught sexually abusing an innocent boy only to be overlooked by a coward that didn't have the courage to punch him and contact the authorities. It left me in awe to think that a monster could have this much power and be protected this way. His wife sickened me to my very core as she sat there in the body of a loving grandmother and spat yet more harmless words about these recovering victims and how needy they were of her husband.

Maybe it was because I could feel the deep pain of each of those victims and wanted so much for them to receive the justice that they deserved or maybe it was just because I wasn't sure if this prestigious man would have to pay for any of his despicable acts in this unjustice modern world that we all now live in...or maybe because I could see myself there as well, sitting with those victims as I recalled fearing a monster much the same way in my childhood. I needed them to put him away for me too.

I smiled as they painted the picture of this sad victory. "Roaring cheers and screams of joy sweeping through the courthouse door, up the stairs and into the second floor courtroom".......The painting became even more of a masterpiece as they explained the fading picture of his wife...." "startled by the noise of the cheers, she snapped her head upwards but sank low in her seat as she realized that the cheers were in celebration of her husband's demise".....the hands of the jury delivered the perfect stroke of justice on this piece. They handcuffed him and the crowd roared as this once powerful, unstoppable predator was escorted out the same doors that past criminals were taken to be hanged.

Every now and then things happen exactly as they should. My prayers remain for those that still have to recover and move past the terrors of this terrible monster. May time and justice bring them healing though they will never fully recover. May we embrace them all for their courage and may we show the same courage by protecting the youth that surround us.

The emptiness of a new day...

Ahhh Life. It's the one thing that we can't seem to figure out no matter how hard we try. It's the mystery of what has been and what has yet to come. The moments of good and bad, happy and sad, fulfilment and disappointment all determine our days time and time again. We feel powerful, hopeless and sometimes absolutely taken back at some of the things that a new day delivers at our doorsteps. And from time to time a single moment can be so amazing that "Life" can seem the most beautiful experience that we will ever have. When was the last time you had one of those moments?

There are events in our lives that will always live further than our minds and the time that has lapsed since they happened. Those special moments that define us like marrying the person that we think we will love our whole lives, losing the person that we thought would love us our whole lives, bringing the little person into the world that we are certain will love us until our very end and saying goodbye to all of those that the Lord has decided that he is ready to have back. Unfortunately, these events will always take place regardless of the weather forecast or the time that our busy lives have allocated for us to deal with them.

Life will always take place with or without our consent my friends. We can make the calm times good or we can worry about the bad times so much that they steal away the empty days that have yet to come. When a new day is upon us; we should embrace the emptiness of it and work hard to fill it with positive, beautiful things. We should aim to fill these days so full until nothing else could possibly fit in them so we can relax at the end with gentle thoughts of all that we have contributed. Filling these days will help prepare us for the ones ahead of us that are filled without our help or consent. The days that we overfill with moments shared with those we love and care for will help us in the days that arrive without them. There is little time to reflect on difficult, hurtful things as we are given a new day. It's such a waste of space to share those events with a new, empty, promising day. Refuse to give in to the temptation.

Instead, wake up and smell the coffee, get crazy and even drink a cup of it. Walk to a window as you breath in the magnificent smell and hold the warmth against your palm. Smile at the trees and the birds and the life that is happening as you sip each yummy drop. Fill them slowly all the days that you are given. Add some hugs from the little arms that are reaching for you again this morning. Indulge in the sleepy eyes that resemble your own as you throw in some kisses on each sleepy cheek. Give back to those that are less fortunate than yourself. Deliver a Good Morning even if you were greeted with a frown; add some understanding, compassion and love while there is room left. We can make each day of this Life a better one for ourselves and all of those that surround us...one by one, by slowly adding one beautiful thing at a time until we absolutely indulge at the end. This is life, fill it carefully and with much thought so that it doesn't slip away from you.....

Just a closer walk with Thee...

I believe there is a point that each of us eventually reach where we long for something more. The time in our lives when we are tired of trying to match up to those that we consider a threat or that we have been a bit envious of for petty worldly reasons. The time eventually comes; well for the most of us; that we just want to be better and find the place that God has meant for us to reside. The place that is abundant with joy and little sorrow with rainbows and sunshine. However, when we start this journey, the truth of the matter is that sometimes there are a  million cloudy days with no chance of a rainbow or even an ounce of sunshine in site.  I'm learning more and more that this is just the Lord's way of determining if we just want to be with him on the days that offer warmth and happiness or if we are willing to trust in him on the days that are filled with dark clouds and endless amounts of depressing rain. I'm finding more and more that if we are patient through the storms, that after they clear the grass is greener, our vision is clearer and yes the rainbows are brighter then we've ever taken the time to notice; in the many sunshine days that he's blessed us with before. A closer walk with our Father is there for the taking; we simply have to ask with our hearts and he will plant himself right beside us every step of the way.

Even better news is that it doesn't matter what we've done in the past or the person that we were. The times that we were terrible to others and thought only of ourselves are behind us as soon as we ask him for his help and confess to him all of the things that we wish to leave behind us. I must admit, that this seemed a bit too easy for me as I pondered the things of my past while on my knees pleading to my Father to make a new person of me. I can remember feeling ashamed to bring my sins to him as I recalled the many times that I must have failed him and caused him to look down on me in sadness of my choices. But I did it anyway. I gave all of those many unfortunate mishaps to him and promised myself not to look back on them again. That's another amazing thing that I have recently learned my friends. All of our sorrows and stresses can be given to him so that we no longer have to worry our weary humanly minds. We just give them to him and simply trust that he will take care of the outcome. This can seem a bit overwhelming since we think that "we" have the best planned outcome for each situation; but I assure you; the outcome belongs to him anyway ; so the best thing we can do is just place it in his powerful hands...

Now, don't get me wrong; there are many challenges along the way. You see the world that we live in offers many opportunities to want to return to the unfortunate events that we took part in before asking our Mighty Father to rescue us. And our humanly nature craves a bit of those yummy sinful deeds that our mind has not yet been trained to not crave; it's kind of like the foods we eat day to day. The earthly goodies that man has made have the same effect on us. It's hard at the beginning to want to have an apple when there's a chocolate covered icecream in the freezer calling our name. Our bodies have eaten these things for so long that they have become the calling of our taste buds. The good news is that if we committ long enough to not having them; they will no longer be what our bodies demand. And if we do slip up every now and then on a special occassion; the good news is that a bit of cardio will erase the damage before our bodies have the the chance to add an extra pound. I like to compare this journey much the same way. If we decide to indulge in something that we know He will frown upon; we can ask forgiveness and for guidance to get us back on track. However, I'm learning that the best option is to call on him while your mind is having such thoughts and ask him to stop them before they even take place. "Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it Jesus; hear my plea"

Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it Jesus, Hear my Plea, I love these words and have found that in my countless times in trying to find my way to the Lord; these have helped me the most. The Lord was gracious enough to bless me with a voice that can melodically sing his praises. I'm not sure that I have been very grateful for this talent in the past and unfortunately have rarely used it to bring glory to him. I plan to change this and use it at every opportunity that he offers me in my new found journey. I recorded this song in my phone so that I am able to hear myself say these words daily. It's a great reminder to hear myself asking the Lord for the walk with him that I have yet to have. It seems to reach me more when I see myself there singing this beautiful hymn to him and I am reminded of the road that I wish to stay on. But should I sway and start to run off a bit; I know that it is his shoulder that will catch me. Life is beautiful my friends; but may we never forget that there is so much more after we are done here. I love you all <3

Change is a good thing...maybe the best of things...

     Ahhhh change. It's just the one thing that none of us can seem to stop. Just when we think we've settled into where we want to be or have even accepted that it's where we are supposed to be; it arrives unexpectedly once again. And the most challenging part of all is that we don't get to decide if we want change; it just kind of forces its self on us. At this point; we only have two choices; we can either keep fighting it and make ourselves unnecessarily miserable, as we lose time and time again; or we can simply embrace it and move forward.

I've done both to be honest. I've cried when change has shown up at my doorstep; even stomped my feet and pouted a bit in hopes that it would go away. But much like many things in this life; experience has taught me to open my palms instead of making tight fists to fight its losing battle. Embracing "change" is the only way we can truly accept what has yet to come.

     I write these words to all of you as I glance out the window of my new North Carolina home. My memories of Missouri mountains and the silly sweet small town that houses them are faintly tucked away in my heart for safe keeping. I've vowed to keep them there for the moments that I need to reach back on my journey of moving forward.

 It's funny the change that God has delivered this time around. He's landed me in a place of old memories with new horizons. A true package of something old, something new and something unknown. It's a bit overwhelming to continue to be the person God wants us to be in a place that we were a person that we no longer want to be. I suppose that's why he put me here; to see if I can still be the person that I was in that silly sweet Missouri town with few obstacles around. It's a bit humbling to say the least, as I think of the confidence that our mighty God has in me time after time.

However, I must admit that he has shown me many things already my friends. He has turned my direction around from where I thought I should go and led me to where he has planned for me to go. With every change; I am learning to listen more. It's amazing how much he speaks to us when our ears are open to his guidance. I pray for the patience to trust in his plan and the will to follow the change that continues to surround me. Today, seems to be a success as I smile at the street that once felt the feet of my little red~headed 2nd grader. It seems even the little people that "change" with us; sometimes find themselves amoungst the old and the new as she hugs the 5th grade shoulders of those that remember her from so many years before...

I suppose change is even more special this time around as we recall the memories of this North Carolina town and explore those that are yet to be found. Life is that way my friends......sometimes, we get to pull out those memories that we stored away and sit them right on the street where they were made so many years ago on a North Carolina Day. It's good to be home my friends.....I love you my sweet North Carolina <3