For "Myself"

So today as I ran across the "too long", "too cold" parking lot that's "too far away" from the gym door; I started to wonder why I took the time to do this every day despite the freezing 12 degree temperatures of our Missouri mornings. I give the same greeting to the toasty, happy face sitting behind the counter waiting for me to click in every morning. She smiles, and I simply grunt at how unhappy I am with the freezing wind that leaves my face rosy, long after I've reached the heat of the gym. She just smiles at my unfestive mood and wishes me a great workout. I simply return the smile with chattering teeth and make my way into the place that will warm my heart and soul within minutes of my arrival.

Still, refusing to part with my sweatshirt because some grunting idiot has decided to open the door because he has been working out for too many hours; I slip my worn gloves under the cuffs of each arm. I put my headphones in my ears to take my mind off of how much I want to go and push him out the door and shut it before he has time to come back in. (I smile for a second at the thought). I think again of why I do this routine every morning and I smile at the company that is here beside me every morning fighting for dumbbells and cardio machines and putting up with door breeze idiots.

I think of my beautiful friend that doesn't always make it to the gym but chooses to stay outside in the cold of the morning running in the freezing wind despite the frosty toes she has for an hour after she's finished. I smile as I think of how happy she was to tell me that she'd qualified to run for 26.2 miles on the streets of Boston. I gasped when she said she'd also been chosen to do New York. The passion that she had as she told me about the way it made her feel and why she could never quit reminded me of the very reason that I'd made it in here once again. As I started to run the miles that would burn off the 600 calories I'd promised myself to burn on my warm treadmill in the corner; I read the message that she'd sent in the window of my phone and knew without a doubt why I would always make it here no matter the circumstances happy or sad, hurt or mad.....

I RUN...FOR THE LOVE OF IT, FOR SANITY. FOR ICECREAM. TO KEEP UP WITH LIFE.TO BE FAST. FOR MY HEALTH. TO EAT. TO HURT. TO FIND MYSELF. TO BE HAPPY. TO BE FIT. TO LOOK DARN GOOD IN A PAIR OF MY JEANS. TO STAY YOUNG. BECAUSE I CAN. FOR CHOCOLATE. SO THAT BOYS CAN'T CATCH ME. TO BE OUTDOORS. BECAUSE MY FRIENDS MAKE ME. TO SWEAT. FOR INSPIRATION. SO MY BUTT DOESN'T GROW. TO GET PLACES. TO FEEL THE WIND ON MY FACE. TO BE A ROLE MODEL. TO APPRECIATE LIFE...FOR "MYSELF"

For myself....I say as I walk towards the door and pull my hood over my head to sprint across the frozen parking lot that leads to my warm car....and when i finally make it home and into the warmest, coziest, snuggle to your body sweats that I own...I sit there for a minute, look at my piping warm mug, and do a cheers to no one but me and smile as I sip and giggle...and for hot cocoa with too many marshmellows floating on top, every once in a while :)




this is for my beautiful friend Christine, a champion marathoner that I am so proud of...love you!