it won't matter how we look in 20 years...

I was sad for him. He had been my friend for so long that I'd let him see the true me a million times; and to tell the truth; the true me wasn't always such a colorful rainbow on a perfectly sunny day. The good thing though, was that he'd always accepted the good and the bad, happy and even sad. My ups and downs, smiles and "too many frowns".
He was just my best friend. I was certain of this fact because who else in this world forgives us for the hurtful things we do to them over and over again? Who else loves us even when we have problems loving ourselves? And no matter the crime, who always answers the phone every single time we call?

I take the time tonight to share these things with you so that I can make a single or maybe if I really think about it, many points. The first being that, no matter how lost we may feel in this world; there is always another soul that is worse off than our selfish selves. I know this to be true because sometimes I have days when I feel like my heart will just explode because of the events of the day, but then 3:20 gets here and outside the door where I park every day at that time is the prettiest, red-headed fourth grader that exists in this world; and despite whatever happened up to that point; I am able to smile at the beautiful gift the Lord blessed me with.

Sometimes, I work out for more than 10 hours in a week trying to beat a scale that refuses to give me the weight that I want it to give. I step on it before I head to the gym and then when it reads off; I slip off my shoes, then my sweats and curse it as I head out the door to add an extra mile to my run. It seems like the most important thing in the world at the time as I glide mile after mile and imagine myself at the perfect weight in the tiniest jeans I've ever owned. I smile at the thought as I pass a mom pushing her new baby with the lightest, happiest, most cheerful of faces that I have ever seen a mommy have as she smiles at the bundle that has added extra pounds to her hips. I hold my head down at the guilt I feel for complaining about a scale cheating me of 5 pounds.

I look at the face that shows many of my years...of the changing eyes that have cried so many tears...then I look at my lips and the lines of the smiles...and am grateful they will be there for such a long while..And I remember the words that seemed so small then...the words that came from that very best friend...As he said to me J, you look different than before..and I didn't want to hear what he said anymore...then he said with a pause but with feelings so dear..it wont matter how we look in 20 years...And I didn't know then, but I think now I do..that life is life because of you...so rather we are beautiful or big or small..those things matter little or maybe not at all..its what we do while we are here..it's who we get to hold close and are lucky enough to be near..it's not the perfect weight, face or things..but rather the life that we live and the happiness it brings...So my best friend, once again...thanks for the lesson you have sent me to spend..I will not save it but use it right away..and remember that life isn't tomorrow, but is right here for us to live today..