Finding Amazing...

Amazing...have you ever really thought of the occasions that we use this "amazing" word. Funny that I should use the very word I'm considering to describe it, I know. However, it just seemed the only thing appropriate enough. I suppose We should all consider ourselves fortunate to have an opportunity that calls for such an expression. It is far beyond the common occurances that call for a good, great or even excellent. It is that moment or person or place that is just beyond the normal expectation of what we imagine could possibly be...

I believe that many times I have believed that I have been in a situation that has called for an "amazing", or even held the company of someone that seemed worthy enough to constitute an "amazing". Only the truth is after further consideration;I usually discover that they or the magnificent situation turn out to be less than "amazing". It is only later in life that I truly discovered the true meaning to such a powerful word.

Many things go through my mind when I think of this journey that I have traveled to end up where I am now in this wonderful place called life. I recall situations that were far less than amazing. I remember many that were absolutely painful and left me raw for days or months at a time. I even have some that will unfortunately disrupt a good nites sleep for many years to come. And this is where I time and time again manage to find my "amazing".

I know a place that has memories of pain and hurt and fear. It's a place in my mind that these memories live from time to time. I've been in situations that have made them reappear after years of masking them with a clip that finally refused to keep holding. I have mended the clip and taped it shut time and time again to no avail with just the strength of my soul and my mind; only later to find that it still managed to explode. I finally decided that I had to find a power much stronger than the mind and soul of the delicate blonde that housed them both. And so I did...

It seemed the only place left that I hadn't tried. I entered the doors armed with only the music of Sinatra; that would have been refused at the door, had they done a shakedown; and the worn gloves that had fought this battle before many times. I felt my crowded mind try to fight me as I turned on the first song that Sinatra would chant about the best being yet to come...and there it was before me...I pulled myself up for the first rep and I felt the clip tighten a bit as my mind started to clear...I went in for another and as my head went over the bar; I knew the end was near...and there I saw him smiling in this place a breath of fresh air that didn't have a face...With a mind and a soul as calm as the sea...I had to wonder how it finally happened for me...and there she was with sweat falling on her brow...the girl that had finally made it to the now...and I knew in that moment without any doubt that this was what the word "amazing" had been all about...And this was the moment she knew for sure with a mind so healed and a soul so pure; that the only word, no other would do was simply "Amazing" and she knew it was true...