You just might catch a butterfly...

I sit here tonight with my fingers typing away once again the things that fill my crowded mind. I am sometimes lost in the girl that I have become and can hardly believe the way the world sees such a clumsy, goofy being. I have done two photo shoots in the past week that should have exhausted me, but felt more like a happening that couldn't have really been. Pretty close to a dream that I thought I'd never come close to meeting. I've smiled at every sweet comment that each dear person has left me in the little facebook album that I made to display my impossible.

Sometimes, life is so hectic and unforgiving that the most of us give up on our "impossible" long before the wiser years of 37 ever approach us. We just walk away and although we say "forget" it's never forget, but usually just put away, the dreams that we once thought we could conquer. I find this is once again where I differ from the average being. I'm not sure why my dreams find me time after time, landing right in the palm of my hand. I believe it must be the way I chase them. Pretty similiar to a child chasing a butterfly, when you think you have him, he slips right out of your fingers; but then one day you are so quick that when you peep inside your clenched fist you can see him there caught after a million tries.

Dreams are that way, if you just keep chasing; you just never know how many butterflies you can catch. I once again, must credit fitness as the reason that a photographer wants to photograph me instead of the tiny model beside me that was born with a waist that two of my hands can cover after she's finished half a pizza. I have made myself unique and different from her long, slender, too tall to wear heels beauty of perfection.

I have found a way to build the physique that she is too spoiled and perfect to ever attempt. While she sits and meditates to her "spa" like music and relaxes with the cucumbers that should be filling her gut instead of sitting on her eyes; I am eating chicken at a red light hoping I have a piece of floss to get rid of the evidence before training my next client. I am eating broccoli that is cold and attributes nothing to taste for my ready to eat belly.

I run in the gym and head to the bathroom and rinse my mouth before rushing to the clanging gym floor to create another being like myself. She simply removes her cucumbers, tosses them away and heads to get a pedicure for her pampered feet. I finish up with my client and my feet dance to another 45 minutes of cardio that I can hardly survive on the same eliptical that I dance with every day. My feet ache, but I keep moving, knowing that the benefits are far greater than the pain.

Later, I shower and take a break before heading back to the gym that holds the fate of my impossibles. She is at home eating something that's not even meat but just a big white block of something that has protein and is organic with fancy pineapples on the side and a mixed drink of mush that helps her complexion stay at its best.

I, am here while she sips her mush..with a pair of the most torn gloves that you have ever seen with wrists wrapped tight to support the weight that my shoulders should not be able to press. I grab a pair of 45 pound dumbbells and do the swing and throw dance that I have mastered to get them from my thighs to the top of my shoulders with the help of no one. Smoothly I push them up for three sets perfectly and without a flaw as the shoulders that I built smile back at me with an undefeated smile. I grab another bar and put my shoulders through another hurdle that they manage to defend as well. I see her there this beauty that I've created that gets to model not because of the blue eyes that sit below a forehead with a few marks that show her years, but because of the shoulders that stand so tall that they now sweep her blonde hair.

The gym has made me the person that I never thought I could become. The art of weight lifting has made me different, unique and has allowed me to have the opportunities that are finally before me. It soothes my heart and soul, and creates the amazing encasing that now covers them both. I am unique because I choose to be, because I do what others will not. This "impossible" is available for all of us to reach but few of us ever will because we refuse to attempt the impossible. So put away those dreams that you will never forget or chase them like a child amazed by a beautiful butterfly. And who knows....you just might catch one one day