Learning how to fly*

I'm writing you tonight because my eyes and mind will not allow me to sleep. It's sometimes a risky thing taking a shower and letting the warm water run off your head to the tired eyes that are later awakened by the smell of fresh soap. It's invigorating and can from time to time lead you to the most peaceful sleep that you've ever had. However, sometimes it can awaken the very thoughts that you wish would leave your troubled mind. I'm afraid the latter was the result that I had tonight.

Life can shock us to the very core. We can be happy one moment and sad the very next second that we blink. It can leave us speechless, breathless and absolutely so in awe that our hearts feel that they will burst. It's a revolving circle full of moments. Moments that we take for granted, moments that we think we won't survive, and moments that we know are the best five minutes that we will ever experience in our lives. I've been in each of these moments and tonight leads me back to incredible once again.

Sometimes we hold the company of those we are used to, despite the way they insist on treating us; it's a life that we get used to that somehow manages to feel comftorable and normal. We go through the same routine day after day doing the things that we do with little expectation of anything changing. Then something happens in the same second that changes our lives completely in a single moment.

We walk by a mirror and see the person that deserves to have more. We take another moment and even walk closer and look her right in the eyes. Finally for the first time in more years than she can count; she sees herself. A woman that's changed for the better of those around her. A soul that is full of love and freely shares with the beautiful world what she has to share. We can hardly make eye contact with her because we are ashamed of the way we have failed her. We stand there in regret of the mistakes that we have allowed her to make.

Still as much as we hope the answers will come, they never do. We do the only thing that we know will help our weary mind reach an answer. We put our less than perfect Nike's on our feet. The same shoes that have led us through heartache, and loss and happiness and now regret. We head out on the trail before us despite the hard wind in her face. She doesn't seem to mind. She floats through the winding paths like she weighs less than than the air that blows her fallen hair and she keeps running only the long way this time.

We see her sigh as her forehead softens and her eyes smile at the wind. We know that she is moving far beyond where she has ever been. We think that she will change her mind and turn around but she keeps running faster than her feet have ever allowed her to go before. We can't keep up anymore...We see her chasing what she knows should have been hers already and she runs...We wait for her to look back but she keeps running toward the opportunity that is before her...We wonder if she will leave us behind and we can no longer see the back of her blonde hair...We know that she is finally free...she has left what is comftorable for you and me...

We will never be sure where her pattering feet will stop..We are scared and our hearts are in a tightly sewn knot..She has run so far that the now has become the past..We know she's found what she thinks will last..A girl that refused to live in the day to day..who wanted more and found a way...And there we see her stretching towards the sky...without a care of how or why...On this magical day; she learned how to fly...