your ability to change and morph...

I read the words today when my horoscope popped up in my email. "Your ability to change and morph is essential to your happiness". I've thought on many occasions that my horoscope was a pretty accurate explanation of the occurances in my life but after reading those words and recalling some things; I knew that it was right on cue.

I believe that there are things in all of our lives that we wished we didn't do. I am certain that if we could all have an opportunity to re-do some things or even take back some things that have taken place that we would do that as well. The only problem is; we don't get that opportunity. We have to learn to accept our mistakes and move past them. We have to make a stand not to repeat them again in the days that are here and the days that have not yet come. And just as the Lord insists that we forgive others; we have to learn at some point to forgive ourselves.

So we do. We forgive ourselves and we start a journey trying to find the person that we long to become. We search and search in books and in other people along the way. And then one day when we least expect it we see that person looking back at us in the mirror with the same eyes and smile that were there all along. The only difference we can truly identify is that of the heart and the transformation that it has made along the way. We breathe out with ease and awe of what stands before us..Then we simply fall to our knees.

And we look towards the sky..and we ask for nothing no how or why...we just
thank God for finding what was ours all along..the ability to chose right and not wrong..And we know that we feel him looking down with such a glow...that one of his children took the time to know...that we can be whatever we decide..if we let go of our self made pride...and humbly walk to the altar and kneal...to the Lord our God who promises to heal............

"Old Man Time"

Have you ever felt that you had to do something for the better of your life even though you knew that it would hurt before it got better? I believe that not only have we all been in this situation, but that in fact it is more than likely a scenario that will occur again and again in life. Or maybe if we really took that time to think about it, it is life. However, I'm certain that we all have to admit that it is never easy, but then again hasn't it been said a million times that life isn't easy? And knowing this, I can't help but wonder, why are we always surprised when it's not?

Sometimes things take us by surprise when we are finally learning how to go about life without whatever it is that we chosen to let go of. We wake up in the same bed, drink the same yummy coffee and smile the same morning smiles to the same little faces; that make our mornings worth waking up to. Time can be quite rewarding if we are patient enough to let it heal whatever it is that has shaken us up a bit. It teaches us to appreciate the smaller things that surround us and to find something, anything to occupy our weary minds in the moments that they want to reach back and try to grasp whatever it is that we were forced move past.

There are times that our minds insist on us going backwards, but the strength that we have allows us to move past a single moment and soon we are able to be grateful that we didn't reach. However, every now and then right before us is something that we can touch and we do find ourselves reaching out because it is right in front of us. But more likely than not, we usually predict the same outcome and are forced to grab the same shield that covered us in the days before...........

And once again the something that we left is the something that is here....so we push it away once more and wait for it not to be so near....We beg for time to pass but it always goes so slow...but if we can make it just a while, we know the pain will go.....for there are no things in life that we cannot live without....there are only things that make us want to cry or shout...but if we let old man "time" take it's mighty course...we can move past fear, loss or even remorse...And even if that "something" comes our way again....we can call on old man time like a much needed friend....and just like the many times before...he will make us new and our happy selves once more...so never settle for something less than you.......move past it and in just a little time, you'll be amazed what even you can work through..........

slow down...

This is the third time I have tried to start a sentence and couldn't come up with exactly what I wanted to say to all of you this afternoon. I have so many thoughts in my mind that sometimes they all rush to the finish and for the life of me; I can't determine who won. I believe life can be that way sometimes as well.

We have so many things to do that sometimes we just don't know where to start or if we will ever finish. Yesterday becomes today and tomorrow has to be pushed off until next week. But we never take a minute to wonder if we will even have next week. We simply disregard the day as a tragic event that never has enough hours. We blame it on the need to save for tomorrow so we can give to our kids so they never have to borrow. We work and we work so they have more when we are no longer here, but what about the present when they need us near?

So maybe this little blog still is not sure what it wants to say...or maybe it just wants you to worry about today..In hopes that you will take a minute or two...to let hugging someone be something that you do...or maybe even sit down at the end of the day...with a warm cup of tea listening to what someone has to say...for little do you know when your running from here to there...that the someone with that tea might need to see you care..So slow down a little friends in case tomorrow doesn't show...for wouldn't it be so sad if the ones you love didn't know?

"it completes me"

I love to run outside; to be surrounded by the green trees, paved sidewalks and the smell of honeysuckles all around me as I pitter patter through my beautiful Missouri hills. It makes my cardio a bit more welcoming, more like a rejuvenating experience instead of a gruelling sweaty chore that I can't wait to complete.

I've just started running again for 3 months now after taking some time off.
The experience this time around has been everything that I'd hoped it would be. It has been theraputic and quite a stress reliever on most days. I finish feeling refreshed and just a little bit more like the Jena that used to run races and walk away with first place trophies so many years ago.

I must admit though, that this time around the only trophy that I care to receive for running down windy "too high hill" trails is just the satisfaction of completion that it gives. Weve all heard the saying that somewhere there is another person that "completes us"; I believe this to be just another line for fairytale movies that never really make sense in our realistic lives.

It is only when we realize that "We" are the only ones that can complete us that we can take control of things that we once couldn't. I believe that the pure joy of exercise can do this for many of us. It is something that we "do" for ourselves to "complete" ourselves. It is a fulfillment that no person can provide for us but ourselves.

So my hope for all of you is that you would use your bodies to heal your minds. Run a few miles or walk a couple blocks down a road that bares nothing but you and your hungry soul. Don't stop until you feel that you have been fed so well that your heart and soul may burst. "Complete" yourself by allowing your heart to become stronger as you go mile after mile. If you keep working it day after day; it will adapt to the workload given.

A stronger heart, what could be a better reason than that to lace up your running shoes? In a world where a heart is broken every 10 seconds, shouldn't we make an extra effort to protect ours? Never stop running my beautiful friends; for if we stop, we will never "complete" anything..........

Someday I will fly and soar far away...

I will never have stress or even a hard day...

I will meet my maker and stand before him still...

and hope that he thinks I have done his will...

but until then, I shall just pray...

that he sees fit to give me another day...

to make up for the things that human nature led me to do wrong...

to give me a chance to sing his sweet song...

So almighty God no one knows but you...

How often we fall but want to be true...

So down on my knees, I ask once again...

To let me start over and be clean from my sin...

And now I see you with little surprise...

The Lord living in my heart, my soul, and even my blue eyes...........

The power of the mind is ours to control....

Have you ever really thought about the power of our minds? Sometimes I wonder if it's our minds that can lead us to think of things that bring us less than happy thoughts or if it's just us that refuses to take back the power to allow these thoughts to wander about?

I have been there in that unhappy place with my unhappy "feel sorry for myself" thoughts. I have watched the scale slowly move upwards while I ate my "feel better soon" snacks. Why is it that we allow our minds to be consoled by sad thoughts and salty, sweet, bad for us- snacks? Isn't it true that usually after the snacks are gone and the scale is up a couple pounds; that we feel even worse than when we fell into this "feel sorry for myself" state?

What if we could take back the power of our minds and have complete control over all of the thoughts we encounter?

The good news is, that I believe to a certain extent; we can do just that.....

My morning started with an email that threw me for a bit of a loop this morning. As a matter of fact; I felt like I needed to do a couple loops to be able to deal with it. I texted a friend to confirm that it was as ridiculous as I'd suspected and I tried to follow his directive of mellowing out a bit with a cup of java but caffeine was the last thing that was going to settle my already cluttered mind. I knew this was the moment that I had to take control and bring my mind to a better starting point for my morning...I knew what I had to do...

I stretched my "too long limbs" toward the ceiling and let out a deep breath and I laced the pink and white skips that faithfully led me to a more zen me on most days. I strapped my music on and found the perfect starting song as my feet made their way to the door. I gave my legs a final stretch and my feet took off before my mind; and just like I'd imagined it followed their lead. The sun beat down on my tired back as my trusty legs made their way up the hills ahead of us one by one pitter pattering their way along the trail as I heard the words of Jodee Messina singing "That's God". My mind was rerouted just as I'd planned.

"Have you ever stepped outside, felt the sun on your face?" and as she sang those words, I no longer wanted to complain about the heat of it on my back but rather embrace the chance to be here and a part of it on this beautiful day. "Have you ever seen a mountain top reach up and touch the sky, That's God" and I knew I had seen those beautiful Texas Mountains reach up towards that big Texas sky and the thought of it made me smile as I thought of my maker. I finally made it to the end of my journey covered in a puddle of sweat with little on my mind but the blessings that surrounded me.

I smiled as I thought of the email that had caused me a bad start to my morning and it seemed like such a small occurance now. I simply hit delete and laughed to myself as I put my phone away...The culprit that sent it would never even know that I'd read it thanks to a much needed run and a newly cleared mind. The outcome is a success my friends; exercise feeds our soul and our hearts and can give us a greater power of our minds...put on your shoes and never let them know you even got their petty news...Life is so good, don't waste a moment on anything that's not :-)