Opportunities...

Strive...Make the best out of every opportunity. I thought of the words as I read the invitation to attend the Cathy Savage Fitness Camp. I recalled all of the times that a judge had told me that I didn't have the posing down enough to show off my physique. I did my quarter turns once again in the mirror in front of me. My arms stiff as maniquin modeling the latest fashion. I wasn't supposed to look like a stiff model; I was supposed to look relaxed, even though, I'm flexing. I was supposed to smile, even though my lips felt like they were shaking under the lights...look forward when doing a side pose, not at the judges...flex your lats, even though they want to squeeze together; make sure your face is full and not too thin from dieting...but make sure your really lean......I thought of all the things I still hadn't mastered. I thought of the possiblility of becoming part of a team that could help me figure out these shortcomings that I have yet to conquer. A competitor is sometimes the only player on his field. It is a lonely game sometimes trying to win all by yourself. I think the time has come for me to humble myself and ask for the assistance that I need. A game is always more successful with great players on the same team. I have decided to join this team so that I can share my strengths and receive guidance on my weaknesses. I will not rush to the stage this time around...I will be a confident champion at her 100% next time I put on those 6 inch glass heels.....With a Team that helped me get there, yelling from the audience...

Football Sunday

I didn't sleep last night; the last time I recall looking at the clock, it said 2 am. My body is sore, and begging for a day off. I feel guilty for the cardio that I failed to do this morning. I opted instead to enjoy the Vickings'( hopeful) victory over the Cowboys. The show is officially 9 weeks and 6 days away. I think of the broccoli and chicken that awaits me for my next meal and twinge at the thought. I momentarily think of what everyone else will be eating on this football Sunday. Then I laugh at how great I will look and feel at the gym Monday morning and of how terrible the "I enjoyed the game with too much booz and chips crowd", will feel. I smile at my strength. I pat myself for being different, for making sacrafices. My show prep is successful today even with the cravings that come with not getting enough sleep. I vow to turn in early tonight and skip the after 4 pm caffeine that I had last night. The mind is a powerful thing if we can take a moment to guide it in the right direction. I smile at the second touchdown my Vickings have made and give in to the comfort as my fluffy couch lures me in. I tell myself just until the game is over and I'm out the door for cardio. Another successful day, with just a small compromise. I drift off for a couple zzz's and see myself walking across that stage with the swager of a champion...

Ten weeks until the stage...

So I return today with ten weeks remaining until I walk upon that stage. I'm not happy with the physique I see standing before me in the mirror. I recall the couple of times that I snuck in a piece of Christmas chocolate in the weeks that have passed me by. The eyes that look back at me are shameful; I sigh and look away. I add up the days once more and confirm to my conscience that there are officially 70 days... 10 weeks..... My overly compulsive mind starts to do the calculations. I add up the pounds that still need to leave my less than show ready body. I shake my head when the result is still 15. My mind sees nothing but numbers now...60 minutes cardio for 70 days equals 42,000 calories hmmmmmmmmmmm..it takes 3500 calories to lose a pound. So I smile that the end result for the weeks remaining is 12. I add in the calories probably burned for weight lifting and my obsession with pullups and know that I can still capture the win. I smile at the possibilities and the strength of the muscles looking back at me. I have defeated the mind that momentarily betrayed me once again. I walk by the mirror once more and see myself on that stage and know that I have made it through yet another hurdle. The mind is powerful, but the will is not defeated easily........