28 days until the stage.....

Once again I started my day with the familiar 45 minute dance I share every morning with the Eliptical in the corner. I think he's learning more and more to hold me up when I'm struggling through the last ten minutes. I thought today of the music that has helped me to make it through this 16 week journey with just 28 days remaining. I've danced to everything from Prince to Madonna with a few sad songs in between to reflect on my life. I've been holding the hands of the same machine when things in my life have caused me to float like a cloud in the sky; and I have held on when tears filled my eyes because of a heartache or a disappointment I'd felt or caused. It amazes me the power I have when I am surrounded with metal weights and intimidating sweat machines; yet when I become emotional and hurt, I become a child without direction. I know my will and I know where I am powerful. I know that the reason I will walk on that stage is because it's what I do....It's what I do to recover from pain, to celebrate joy, and to be in a place that I am in control. Some will say it's foolish; I say it's therapy. I say, I am sitting here with a set of abs, I could wash my clothes on...but a mind that is weary...I will have to be happy with the body that I create through the hard times....and celebrate the moments that have forced me to recover here in this place, my place, the only place where I know I can move that brick wall.....almost show time my friends....

30 days until the stage...

I share my thoughts with each of you in an exhausted state. I have chewed a whole pack of sugarfree gum tonight although I promised to kick the habit at 30 days out. My body is trying to fight back. It wants the yummy carbs that makes its eyelids fall asleep. My legs are aching from the two cardio sessions I have demanded of them for the past 3 weeks. I look in the mirror and know that there is only time for the touch-ups. The only battle left is the one I have with my mind. It's a tricky thing trying to convince your body that you can do without the things its accustomed to having. The final weeks change everything. My morning eggs and spinach miss the company of the oatmeal more and more as the days pass. My protein shakes are thin and boring without the yummy skim milk that accompanied them a couple weeks before. This is the hard part; the part where your will must beat the demands of your mind. You have to put yourself in the moment a million times a day. You just have to picture yourself on that stage and imagine the regret you would have if you gave in. I won't, I am a champion. I will not give in to a simple craving. I will walk out and know that I survived what others could not. Tonight, I win again..Determination is often the first chapter in excellence.......Shall we move on to Chapter Two?

5 Weeks until the stage

So this is where I get nervous. We can never see the sculpted physique that others see when we look at ourselves. I look in the mirror and see the hamstrings that only have five more weeks to reach their potential. However, I smile at the abs that haven't given in to the glory of sugar in weeks. They have rewarded me with a quirky chizzled smile. I see the shoulders capped out above my overly long limbs and I smile at the progress they have made. I have won; my body is responding to its hard work and is awaiting the final day to show off its efforts. I have managed to maintain every hard earned ounce of muscle while leaning out this time. I guess practice does make perfect after all. I haven't fixed my hair in weeks to amount to more than a twisted bun at the nape of my neck; hence the reoccurring cardio I do twice a day. Amazing the sacrafices we make to just brush the shoulder of one of our dreams. I think I might even get to shake hands with one of those dreams this time around. My heart explodes at the possibility..........:)