FitJgirl

I sit here writing this blog as I hover over a warm bowl of oatmeal with only sea salt and a few egg whites that I tore the middle out of, like they would stop my heart from beating if I ate them. I have my "girl" moments when my hormones lead me to a big bowl of chocolate ice cream; or a a few moments in my life,when the best cook in the world; who just so happens to be my mom; cooks the best dish of mac and cheese that this world has ever known and I have to indulge. However, most of the time; I really think about what I put into my body. I haven't always been that way, I think life has taught me to be this way. I've really struggled with my weight my whole life; which is something a lot of my new audience that thinks I'm super cool doesn't really know. I still struggle as a matter of fact. I've learned that you truly do have to pay attention to your diet even more than your workouts. I've taken my physique to a level that I never thought a chubby high school girl could ever reach. It's improved my confidence and I'm able to enjoy more things in life because of my healthy lifestyle; you just plain feel better. When I started this blog today, I was going to share with all of you that I am moving with my soldier to Fort Leonardwood, Missouri and then I was going to say, "So, sorry guys, I won't be able to compete in the show Saturday", and then I was going to walk away satisfied that I had a great explanation that you would all understand. However, when I was dancing the last 20 minutes with my almighty eliptical in the corner; I opened my email to skim through my messages and the one waiting for me, changed my mind completely. It was from a girl, much like myself. Another competitor with hopes of walking across that stage, a woman that openly and honestly has given me the reasons she couldn't this time around. Reasons that all of us encounter like, soccer, and husbands and responsibilities that are more important than planned meals and two a day cardio sessions. A person that thanked me for the opportunity to be inside my head on such a personal journey. I then thought about the chubby girl I mentioned earlier; the one that wasn't so cool in high school; the one that did eat potato chips and burgers and didn't have the genetics to get away with it. I thought of the girls that are just like her, that haven't found their way to fitness or have some person or thing that keeps them from reaching for the fit person their hearts want them to be. I thought of my head, inside my head, and thought I owed my audience more. I'm not doing the show Saturday, and the reason isn't because I'm moving or because I'm busy with work or family; it's just because I'm not ready. My chizzled abs are not accompanied by tight hamstrings; and my 5 years of posing have not yet led me to the perfect routine; and truthfully, the new me that thinks she's so cool can't face another 2nd place. I want first. I've been there 6 times from morning to night; I've been there when they've called me for 5th four times and when they gave me 2nd twice. I know I didn't reach the level to be a champion this time around, and I've been a competitor more than enough times to just enjoy the experience. So my friends, we are all just plain human, no one is beyond failure every now and then. The true test is if you give up; as for me, I have given myself a little more time so that I can capture what it is I want to capture up there.... I want to win, and I just won't give up until that happens. I'm thrilled to be moving to Missouri because of the fact that it is so close to my team at Beverly Nutrition. For that reason, I have decided to compete in the Northern Kentucky which is hosted by the team that is closest to my heart....seems a more appropriate place to reap my rewards...Life is good friends...offer no execuses, or no apologies, just live it for you..to the fullest....