Change...

Change is almost always scary. As a matter of fact, it's usually the most uncomftorable thing that can happen to our lives. However, most of the time, it's the one thing that We need more than any other. I have made many "changes" in the past three weeks that have began to drastically change my life for the better.

With change,usually comes sacrafice. I'm certain that this is a part of a successful change because those same three weeks have consisted of moments when I have considered refusing to change, and remaining in the vicious circle that led to the need to change to begin with. I say all of this so that I can take you with me on the journey that I have traveled over the past three weeks...

Friends come and friends go, but sometimes; we find a friend so special that we can't imagine a day in our lives without their company. We want to call them when "too good to be true" things happen to us to share our joy; or hear them comfort us when tears won't stop falling because of something tragic. We cherish their very being; so much so that the expectations that we lay upon them are next to impossible to maintain. Finally the moment comes when they let us down so hard that we almost feel the blow when they drop us. When we are certain that they have hurt us both inside and out, the pain is so fierce and raw within us. We agree that life is better without "too good" phone calls and say goodbye with "not so good" words.

Then the moment comes that our soul feels silent. The emptiness is unbearable and we pray to whatever higher power will listen to make that feeling go away. We do the same thing the next day and even the next; only on our knees this time. Finally, we wake up and there is the biggest sun in the bluest sky that we have ever seen. The ache that was there begins to dull a bit and we make our way to the window to soak it all in. The unthinkable happens and we see the flowers that were in the back yard all the days before. The children's laughs on the street are like music as our weary ears stretch and listen. We are certain that time has become a healer that we had never believed in.

We take our same trip and open those same glass doors as we slip our fingers through those same smelly gloves. The breath that we take is lighter and deeper than it has been weeks before. The perfectly fitted iron bars reach out for our hands as We wrap them around for the perfect hold. Slowly our body raises above the bar rep after rep. We think of the friend that won't share in our new record..and we do another rep. we momentarily recall the pain that our heart endured as it found the strength to mend...and we do another rep. We slowly lower ourself in front of the mirror and see the muscled blonde beauty with eyes that were determined to never look back...and remember the most important reason for doing the things that we do. The love of one's self. We promise her right then and there to never give it away to another. The priority of another cannot be given when in return you are considered an option. Life is too short friends, Love yourself first....for if you don't no one ever will...