When we no longer see rainbows...

Sometimes my fingers are led to the keyboard much the same way that my legs are led to an endless trail. I am in need of a way to fill my soul and perhaps the souls of others through the miracle of exercise and words. I am certain that God has given me the ability to endure many physical obstacles and the love of writing so that it can be shared with all of you.

I walked out the gym and felt the aching of the triceps that I still hardly recognized after 5 years of training. The wind blew in my face and I wondered if I should reconsider walking back in and enduring the long half an hour on the electric machine that was too close to the one beside it. I pulled my gym bag on my shoulder and made a deal with my mind that my arms were so sore that I should skip the cardio completely and make my way to the warm couch at home instead. I lowered myself into the much too expensive car that I had been spoiled enough to beg my husband for and made my way toward my cozy paradise. I wondered why I'd insisted on buying a car so that I could keep up with the people that influenced me into their material world so many years ago. I thought of how much I hated that I'd been so different back then. I also hated sometimes how others seemed to have no thoughts at all, but my mind just seemed to think all through the day and night.

I turned and parked in the same spot that I'd parked so many times before. The spot that never led to a couch filled with fluffy pillows and a soft throw to break the chill of the room. I opened the door to the car that said nothing about who I was now and looked back at it with a frown. I thought of the little girl in the torn sweats that had taken a picture behind it while I was sitting there on the phone before getting out. I'd remembered the smile I gave her when she finally realized I was sitting there and blushed a bright red as she explained that it was her favorite car. I hated my car even more as I thought of her face, as I thought of who she thought I must have been. I tucked the strings of my too long laces and saw the path that was surrounded by a million trees on each side. I thought of how I wished she knew that I wasn't the girl that she painted in that perfect BMW.

I ran the first mile and never felt my feet hit the ground. My mind raced as I crossed turn after turn and climbed hill after hill. I came to the turn that I usually made and I decided that it would end too soon; and took a longer route. I felt the lightness visit me. I saw the woman I'd become and the things of this world that I no longer needed. I smiled at the tank top that was one of ten that I'd bought because it was the end of the season and they were only dollars a piece, and I ran some more. I pulled back the hair that for some reason looked the same when I spent sixty dollars every four weeks at the salon in small town Missouri as it did for one hundred and ten in the spa in Texas and my feet pattered some more. I smiled as I thought of finally realizing that there are few material things that will ever truly fill us with the needs that our soul desires.

I thought of the smile on the face of the blushing girl with the dream of being in the car that carried the prestigious label and my feet kept going. I thought of how happy she seemed with just a picture and a runaway laugh with a sneaky friend and I even laughed. I finally made it back to the car that waited once again to take me to my fluffy couch and above it I saw a rainbow that filled that overly windy sky and I stretched as I took in its beauty. I smiled like my little dreaming picture taker of how far I'd come. I apologized to the overpriced shuttle that never left me stranded. I gave thanks to the Lord upstairs for reminding me of what would never go with us when we were no longer here to see rainbows.