So much more than "The Man Upstairs"

I've often wondered why my life always seemed like it was missing something despite how happy I am most of the moments that make it up. I sat for a long time last night when sleep refused to hang out with me and I thought of the "life" that I have created for myself. I thought of all the wonderful people that surround me, but then thought again of how most of them manage to let me down.
I saw myself at the gym time and time again feeding my soul and filling that same empty hole with iron dumbbells until it seemed a little less hollow. Somewhere between those thoughts I dozed off and woke up to the sun of another Sunday morning. I drug myself up off the couch and made my way to the usual cup of joe and tea cup of cheerios that always helped me survive my "no carbs before bed" starving belly; until I was able to make my morning oatmeal. I finally grabbed my warm mix of oatmeal and egg whites and savored each bite until the bowl was empty.
I made my way to the shower and put on the green sundress that I'd fallen in love with and bought the week before. I made it to the car and was surprised to see that I'd actually managed to make it a few minutes early and patted myself on my back. I said hello to the same faces that I saw every week and made my way to the same pew in the same seat that I sat in every week. I opened the book that I knew I should read more and followed along as the pastor in front of me instructed us to do. I heard him clearer this time though; something inside of me could understand all of his words this morning. He said that we all take the Lord "too lightly" and I recalled my earlier facebook post where I identified God as "the big man upstairs". I'd thought it was an appropriately "cool" post at the time but now regretted it terribly.
I heard him as he said time and time again that the Lord God is not a man, and We could not make any back room deals with him like that of a crooked politician. I made a deal with myself to delete the nonsense from my page as soon as I made it back to the computer. We sang "How Great Thou Art" and I looked at the words as I sang them. "O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder, Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made," and I thought of all the runs between the winding paths and beautiful trees and how they made my heavy chest as light as a feather in the wind.
We continued to sing " I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed," and I remembered my dance in the rain despite the loud thunder that filled my soul. We sang verse after verse and I carried the words to my heart taking them in this time, though I'd sang the same song many times before.
I made my way to the front and found the knees that performed perfect squats and deadlifts time and time again without error and I knelt and said a prayer and a couple thank-you's to the Lord that was speaking to my overflowing heart. I made my way out the doors and headed home to change for the run that I wasn't able to complete earlier in the week. I laced up my same faithful running shoes and made my way to the same path that led me to a leaner, happier self.
I ran a faster pace this time with no discomfort even further than all the times before. I saw the birds around me and could feel the breeze in my hair. I shutdown the music that I usually needed to survive such a long journey and I just listened to the world around me. My heart so full, but not heavy like before. I continued to run.
I heard the kids laughing at the park I'd passed every day with music in my ears and I thought of how magical this world really is. I realized that what helped me survive all of the things that I'd survived through running paths and thousands of pull-ups was much bigger than I ever knew.
I looked at the big beautiful sky above me and knew that he'd been there all along; holding my hand, dancing in the rain and guiding me through all of the storms I'd survived. I was certain he was there today as well. I recalled the last verse of that beautiful hymn as I walked to stretch my exhausted legs. "And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing; sent him to die, I scarce can take it in; That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away my sin."
I took a deep sigh looked high up at the sky and knew that no matter my faults he would always be nearby....I could scarce take it in my friends...Fitness is so good, Let us not forget the rest....